Many of us struggle everyday with pain. We struggle with physical pain, emotional pain or spiritual pain, pain at work, feelings of failure and feelings of just not being enough. Surrender does not enter our minds.
We fall down and at the moment when we finally get up we fall down again. We trip over another issue, a headache, worry and even possibly despair are all fodder for stress. It happens to a lot of us, everyday.
One night I was lying in bed and my old headache showed up again. Usually I deep breathe, I try to relax and do whatever I need to do to resist the pain. I use these same old rituals in other situations, especially when situations are disagreeable and irritating. I try like hell to get unstuck. I use a lot of energy to get rid of that headache or that cold.
Colds in my house become very expensive with the cost of vitamin c, paracetamol and all of the other many over the counter drug store items. The cold stays and the bill keeps racking up.
Back to my headache, as I was lying in bed with this headache. I noticed the energy that I was spending by resisting it. I noticed that not only do I have a headache but the headache is exacerbated by my stress and worry.
What was I doing by resisting? In resisting I was hitting a wall, a wall that said, ‘here and no further!’ the result being, less sleep, more pain, higher anxiety and the same headache. It reminds me of the Einstein quote, ‘Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different outcome.
Like it or not we all do it. We resist in our relationships, with our children, with daily tasks and with our colleagues and bosses.
What did I do about the headache? I tried something new. I decided to surrender. I didn’t say, ok headache I am all yours so shoot me. Instead I simply surrendered, I stopped resisting the headache. By surrendering I removed the fight. I was able to examine what I really needed. I created space to see what it was going on, what I was missing.
One of the things that I needed to do was to remove the stress, the fight, the push. When I removed the stress, the fight and the push I was able to see what was really needed. What I needed was comfort, love, care and peace and quiet to listen to my body. I created an opportunity to shift the energy around the headache. I fell into a deep and restful sleep.
Like all valuable concepts surrender is not a quick easy fix. I have learned that it takes practice, patience, love and that little thing called creating habit. The headache still comes and goes and I gently remind myself to surrender. When something irritates me once again I gently remind myself to surrender. Sometimes I fail so I quietly perform an act of self love and give up control in order to invite and allow something else to happen.
What does surrender look like to you?
Theresa Norris, CPCC http://www.norriscoaching.com
Photo by Theresa Norris