Throwing Ourselves Under The Bus Of Life

cardboard boxes
We live in a world where we have insurmountable access to information. It is no big deal to sit in our living room in Alaska and have a conversation real time with a friend in India.

We are living in a world where people are sharing huge amounts of personal information. Just look at the social media sites, blogs and e-books.

Count the number of self help books online.

In this vast orgy of information sharing some of it is delightfully enriching and some of it is genuinely life shaking. All of it offering endless wells of guidance, spiritual and practical advice.

In spite of this there is a paradox. People are connected and not alone but still feel lonely and isolated.

Addiction is thriving, addiction to food, drugs and alcohol, materialism or financial addiction. Being connected and active on social media sites doesn’t fill the gap.

We continue to fill that gap with temporary solutions.

People are battling scary diseases caused by stress, and unhealthy lifestyle choices. We wake up in the morning and feel shame for the person in the mirror who is looking back at us. In fact what we are really doing by making unhealthy choices, sucking on our temporary baby bottle nipple in order to build a bridge toward greater unhappiness and possible self destruction.

What we are doing is making attempts to run away from our misery and shame. We create a mood of superficial joy around our indulgence. Searching for satisfaction we whip up a frothy soother that will launch us into the land of happiness. Unfortunately this form of happiness is short lived.

There is nothing wrong with having fun. There is nothing wrong with indulging.

My question is this; what is the part of us that keeps throwing ourselves under the bus of life? Why do we continuously grab the little bottle that says ‘eat me’ or ‘drink me’ ‘transform me?

Why do we want to grow bigger and then smaller so that we can fit into this life?

Who is this person inside of us that is not content with who he or she is? This person inside of us who says, ‘I am not good enough!’

During my life I have danced in great ballrooms of discontent. At first I experienced what I thought was bliss. Very soon I discovered that bliss was hyper temporary and I desired something grounding. I knew that I was stepping on my values. I was using things to fill a gap. I knew it because I could hear the distant echo of my inner self; I could hear my tiny internal cries. I just didn’t know how to access me anymore.

I turned the page.

I did not find new temporary fixes. I struggled for a long time. I flunked at a few relationships. This new ship I was sailing had a few holes in it and thank god it didn’t sink.

I dodged a few curve balls in the process but somehow I had managed to get behind myself and lift myself up. I do this by taking the time out of a day to be conscious of what I am feeling and honoring what my body is telling me. I don’t always succeed and I do know that I am here to help myself when I need me.

Pain is a funny thing because when it is really serious it squeezes those little things called tears out of our eyes. They help you out. In truth, while you are suffering the pain actually opens a door inviting its own comfort, through those tears.

I have found out how to rely on the love of myself and others. In fact I go beyond others. I find love in nature. The gentleness and miracle of nature works on the soul, it has healing properties.

There are no quick fix solutions and it is surprising to find out what happens when you look inward and unselfishly turn outward.

Theresa Norris CPCC,
Photo by Anton-Pang, from

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